The best laid plans …..

It was all going well.  Catherine had assessed her last week and said she would give it a go.  Mum had enjoyed her afternoon at Abbeyfield.  They had made a fuss of her, given her fish and chips for lunch, played dominoes.  It was just right; such a friendly, caring... Read more »

Lost Soul

I’m not sure she knows me now.  Most of the time she sits pulling the hem of her dress across her bare knees, leaning forward and then lying down in her chair, picking at her sleeves, trying to undo her buttons; her face a sad mask of confusion.  She seems... Read more »

Gulags in our cities; the terror that awaits all of us.

It’s the smell that hits me first.  Not the ferrety lemon yellow scent of the whole building, but a dense, dark, dirty green,  pungent ammoniacal stench of soaked-in urine that has started to degrade, the stench of hell.  This I become aware of a subdued moan; ‘Oh dear, oh dear, oh... Read more »

The averted face of care

The carers leave notes for each other on the wall above the work surface in her kitchen.  The one this morning read,  ‘If the district nurse or any member of the family ask you to help them move Doris, you must say NO!’  I went through to the bedroom.  Mum was... Read more »

Lost

‘Oh, dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.’  It was like a metronome, every second.  Simon worked out that at this rate, she would say oh dear, 3600 times an hour,  up to 50,000 times a day,  15 million times a year.  But the mantra had some more intense... Read more »

Towards the vanishing point.

  I had some pizza that I made the previous night and thought to share that and the remains of a bottle of claret with her.  But she is not right.  Julie has told me that she gets very emotional at the prospect of me coming round.  I have recently begun... Read more »

Doing things by the book; the flawed excellence of the new NHS.

I should have listened to her dentist.  She cared enough to call me in London and tell me that the Xray had shown a small translucency around the root of the bottom right canine and there was a sinus pointing to the gum.  'Your mum will need that tooth out,'... Read more »

Losing her Mind; How can we understand Dementia

'Oh Nick, Oh Nick!  Please!  Please!'   'What is it mum?'  'I don't know. It's all gone wrong.'   'Try to rest, mum.'  'But I'm so hot!'   I take the blanket off her.  'My feet are so cold.'  I put her slippers on.  'Oh these are too heavy. Take them off.'   I remove them.  'My mouth is so dry.'  'Shall I make you... Read more »